God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
