My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
