Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
