Buhtt sex?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
