sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
