It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize