it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
