Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
