Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
