just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
