You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
