And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
