Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize