awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
