were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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