I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
