Your tits are I can't wait for
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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