Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
