can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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