can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
