We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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