i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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