I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
