Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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