thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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