I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
