I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
