I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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