I wannas sexs uuuuu
Plan B is the new Plan A
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
