i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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