dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
