We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize