My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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