Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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