he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
