question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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