When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
