omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
