You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
