Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
