wat bout pragnant strippers??
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am one with the molecules
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
