Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
