hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
