'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
