Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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