you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
