You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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