Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
