try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
