Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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