three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
