Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
