Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
