So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize