Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
