i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
