you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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